Not meeting as many people (or anyone really) started to get to me. After looking at what felt like hundreds of photos of girls in their cap and gown from graduation, on some vacation with their boyfriends, or sipping a mimosa (Bumble BFF girls love brunch!), I started feeling like I didn’t measure up. What about me makes all these girls not want to be my friend? Is my bio not creative enough? Do I not have enough photos that make me look cute and fun? What am I doing wrong?
I started beating myself up over not meeting anyone arablounge abonnement that I started feeling like a friendless loser who was destined to sit at home and watch every new Netflix movie alone. I got into a comparison mindset, thinking that I needed to have a profile more like her or her, and then, I’d make friends. I almost asked a photographer I know to set up a photo shoot so I could have better pictures on my profile. That’s when I knew I just had to stop.
I stopped worrying about people on the internet for a second. People get uncomfortable and bored with dating apps all the time, so why is it so weird that I’m feeling the same way toward a friend app? I learned that my worth isn’t derived from people “matching” with me on an app, and I have an entire life full of friendships ahead of me. Women have found bridesmaids and best friends without Bumble BFF, so I think I’ll be just fine for right now.
I started making friends at work. I exchanged numbers with a woman in my yoga class (This was a bold move that I was very afraid to do, but now we’re going to another class together!). I also started taking myself on all those friend dates I was hoping to get from Bumble BFF. I took myself to the movies (everyone needs to see A Simple Favor ASAP), I sat at a coffee shop without my laptop for once, and I made brunch for myself at home instead (talk about a money saver!). I also encouraged myself to reach out to people I normally wouldn’t. My photographer friend and I did hang out, but the only pictures involved were the ones we took of our cheese board.
My Bumble BFF experience wasn’t exactly what I was expecting. While I didn’t really make any new friends from the app, it got me in a mindset to take chances and meet people IRL, so I can’t say the experience was totally unsuccessful. I don’t think there’s any harm in trying an app to meet friends, but I wouldn’t recommend going into it thinking you’ll meet your soul sister.
I’d also suggest remembering who you are through the process. Rejection, in any form, is so hard to deal with, and it can really impact how we view ourselves. Don’t let a bunch of people on an app decide your worth. That unspoken confidence might even help you score a few friend dates along the way!
The rejection was honestly worse than dating because I was just looking for someone to hang out and have fun with!
I noticed a lot of my matches were looking for roommates or were promoters at clubs and wanted me to “get a group of girls together” for a free table and drinks. While I am always down for a free table and drinks, I feel like if I already had a “group of girls,” I probably wouldn’t be on Bumble BFF. Maybe just me though!